Can I get a REEEEWIND…

Music is one of my passions, I can pretty much listen to anything that is thrown at me, be it noodley jazz to hard, throbbing, proggy house. But when it comes to bar music how can people get it so, so wrong? I drink in a lot of bars and it seems that it is one of the hardest aspects of a bar operation to get right, or maybe the last aspect that bar owners think about. “Ok we have a great bar, looks good, drinks are fantastic, sound system is amazing. Oh so what about the music…?”

This normally ends up with the bar buying a few CDs (normally Bar Grooves) and then the rest of the staff topping up the collection with their own personal selections which normally consist of R’N‘B classics and the new Scissor Sisters album. Then from there the Cd’s are played until completely scratched and total inaudible.
So here are a few friendly hints on how to create your bar soundtrack.

Firstly work out your sound levels, there is nothing worse than going for a drink with someone and you can’t hear a word they are saying due to the volume. David Mancuso, owner of the Loft in New York didn’t open his club for the first 3 months because he wanted to listen to his sound system at every angle within the club. A bit extreme, I agree, but the club has gone down in history because of the music and the sound that came out of it. I believe that it is up to the owners/managers to set the sound levels and then mark them on the controls for AM, PM, Busy, these controls should not be touched by any other staff member.

Variety is the spice of life. Don’t stick to one style of sound; there is nothing worse than listening to a whole album. Remember just because you like it, it doesn’t mean to say everybody else does.

Ditch the CD player; replace it by using a computer or iPod. This allows you to create the appropriate play lists.

Read the crowd, find out what works in the bar, when you have the right styles make some time and listen to similar styles. Speak to local independent record shops (Universal Sounds, Phonica are always on the money for me) or check on-line iTunes offer a great service that allows you to listen to the music before purchasing. Music Monthly in the Observer is also a good read for checking out new albums.

Swell Music (www.swellmusic.co.uk) is a great way to get free music. They send you around 10 CDs a month. But be warned. Do listen to all of them before up loading them on to your system. Some may not be suitable.

C-burn (www.c-burn.com) offer a one-stop solution, they supply the computer and music. You will meet with a music consultant and work together to create your soundtrack. This service is updated monthly, or however many times you want it with fresh sounds. I have heard nothing but good things from people who have used this service.

DJs… They are needed in bars these days it seems, but like any member of the bar team they need to be managed, as much, if not more. Managers have to guide the DJs in what sound they are after, and not be embarrassed to inform them that their music is rubbish. Just because he looks cool and wears a silly flat cap, doesn’t mean his music is any good. The DJ is a very important part of a night; people will leave and not come back if the music is loud and repetitive.

Promotors can also be a grey area. They often promise the world and then not deliver. Wrong music, wrong crowd, and your regulars walking out. Do some homework, go to one of their nights and see if it can fit in to your outlet. Work with your promoter at all the stages, and again, don’t put up with any crap. If you feel like you are not happy with the service that is being provided, pull out before the night

Hopefully some of these points have helped you on your way to create your bar sound. If you are still a little lost on this subject take a little trip up to Leeds and visit a bar by the name of Mojo’s, who lead the way in this field, the motto which is hung in red neon light behind the bar is “Music for the People”

Dj Lovely Looker
07

10 Reasons why Finland is better than England

I should start out by straight away clarifying that I love England, its people, its language, and some of the most bizarre customs, history and cultural foibles of any nation. You could replace England in the title with most any western society and the list below would just be longer, but once in a while you have an experience that can redefine your whole outlook. I am writing this on a plane coming back from a wonderful trip to Finland to judge the 8th Finlandia Cup Cocktail World Finals and never have been so sad to leave anywhere. Already half my brain is trying to think of ideas to get me back there as soon as possible, the other fuming that the list below is possible and my old England isn’t the haven I thought it was. My anger will fade, but the desire to come back will I think stay fresh, here’s why.

Skidoo.
Take a ludicrously powerful motorbike, replace the wheels with skis and a tank track, stick on some handlebar heaters and fly. Where else can a utilitarian and useful form of transport be that much fun? After a full 3 minutes of instruction; right hand to go, left hand to stop, don’t stick your feet in the tank tracks, even the meekest and most timid of adrenalin abstainers can unleash their inner banshee. We safaried across frozen lakes, sub zero ski trails and though forests of such eerie silence that the buzz of cherry bomb exhausted marauding machines was almost a relief. After a long and wonderful day, the warm and enthusiastic glow of one hundred tired and happy faces proved that nothing I have experienced has ever been so universally enjoyed. Even Ian ‘Write Off’ Wisniewski agreed that it is the most fun that can be had without committing a crime or being naked.

Increased alcoholic capacity.
There is a level of toxins inherent in our overcrowded and dirty cities. When we want to consume our own self administered ones in the form of alcohol, our already slightly poisoned body have less capacity free and just like running out of space on your hard drive just before your complete edition electric blue download is finished there is nothing more annoying than having to curtail an enjoyable activity. With clean air and a daily sauna the toxin levels are much lower and the advantage can be converted into at least another hours worth of concerted drinking. Result!

Product design.
Harsh conditions lead to invention, rigour of design, durability of product and most importantly an understanding of real requirements. Every object that I have seen here has been a triumph of understated design brilliance. From the skidoo above, which not only performs it job wonderfully but can also be fixed with one spanner and the thoughtfully included spares that it may require, to bathrooms with floor drains and integral wash hose for quick cleaning, everything performs its stated task with quiet distinction. Sleeping bags good for -35, the coolest out-door candles made from whole logs, under floor heating that actually works, public transport that doesn’t breakdown in conditions that would lead to mass suicide in the headquarters of our so called transport ‘providers’, the most intelligently produced white spirit in the world… The list goes on. Next time I find myself gazing at some over-priced, virtually obsolescent piece of unnecessary gadget frippery I promise to kick myself and by some gloves that work and a coat that actually keeps out the rain. Designers beware, the lessons are easily learned and the newly enlightened are the most zealous in recommendation; you can’t get away with your slovenly attitudes forever.


The stars.
Light Pollution is perhaps the least obvious way that we are ruining the beauty of our world. In fact as anyone that has flown over the eastern seaboard at night will agree that it is a beautiful sight. A beautiful sight that pales into insignificance when compared to nature’s version, the stars in a truly black sky. So close that you can almost touch them and as uncountable as only infinity can truly be, to be reminded of our own insignificance is an awe inspiring if humbling experience, Everyone who has dreamed of laying back with their potential lover in the clichéd 50’s style should get themselves to Finland straight away, they are so wonderful that it might actually get you laid, with the Aurora Borealis on top of this (s)he might even bring a friend.

Airport Smoking Facilities.
Pariahs we maybe, self-harmers who should receive psychiatric evaluation, possibly, but human beings still. To be treated around the world to a cramped, windowless room with inadequate ventilation, dirty seats and overflowing communal ashtrays is to know the joys of being a travelling smoker. Not in Finland, magazine racks, convenient locations, air clean enough that you have to actually have to smoke a cigarette as opposed to just absorbing foul second hand smoke from the callused lungs of yesterdays customers. We buy beer and food, browse magazine racks and probably purchase more duty free than anyone else. Look after us! My only concession is to suffer the slightly puzzled and sorrowful looks from people who know better, I don’t care, I just had a fag.

Trust.
The baggage carousels at Helsinki airport face directly out on to the street and bags don’t go missing. If that were Gatwick the denizens of creepy Crawley would be forming a human chain to remove all items of Vuitton from their rightful owners as soon as the appeared from the hatch. Instead trolleys can be confidently left unattended secure in the knowledge that they could at worst end up in lost property rather that being blown up by frustrated pyromaniac security personnel. Leave your keys in the car with your engine running while convenience shopping and it will still be there, leave your mobile phone on the table and they will remain there annoying the guests with continual repetition of your stupid ring tone but nothing else. I lost my passport on this trip and was completely unconcerned for it’s safety, efficient and helpful people went out of their way to make sure I got it back and sure enough it was returned with little fuss, or embarrassment for me, within three hours. Thankyou

Fashwan Ignorance.
I remember with great fondness the innocence of youth, your hair was cut by your mother and clothes were something you got muddy. Now my clothes are out of fashion before I get them home and after walking around in our mild winters shivering also generally profoundly unsuitable for their ascribed task. Winter hardship means that the rules are different in Finland, jackets are waterproof, windproof and warm, the rubbish gloves that ruined childhood experiences of snowball fighting are replaced with ones that actually work, colours are chosen for their visibility in case of getting lost and fabrics for their required capabilities. All pretty obvious you might say but it is also the reason preconceptions based on appearance don’t exist, the book is never judged by its’ cover. How refreshing is that?

Mobile phone Reception.
“Out of service” The most annoying words in the modern world. I don’t get reception in my kitchen in London and I don’t live underground or in an Andersen shelter. I go Lapland with a population of 200,000 spread over an area three times the size of the UK and get reception everywhere. No, the signal is not amplified by bouncing of the snow. No, they haven’t figured out away to make sub stations from pine trees, they have simply understood that half assed isn’t good enough. No wonder the company that makes the best phones in the world is Finnish based, if you are stuck in a snow drift in the middle of nowhere you need a reliable and dependable communication tool, not a repository for tinny Bontempi versions of the latest 50 Cent (s)hit.

Water.
Next time you go to a petrol station and pay more per litre for a product that falls from the sky for free than you pay for a finite resource that has to be extracted at great cost from miles underground, refined twice, transported half way around the world and pay for a sheikh’s solid gold Roller, you should realise that there is something wrong. Our tap water is drinkable only in the way it won’t make you ill but the moment you swallow the water at Rajamäki you realise what has been missing all your life. Every cell of your body goes into paroxysms of delight, seeming to swell with joy at this, the true aqua vitae. Particulate filtered only, with no mineral additions or sterilisation it cannot travel, so can only be drunk in the area, but not since the high quality H2O in the Waterboy has the effect of rehydration been more profound; tiredness, hangovers and even old age seem to be reversed. Without coming to Finland you can only experience this wonder in Finlandia vodka, where unfortunately you cannot drink the litres that it’s taste deserves.

Sonja.
The only Angel in England is a tube station. Cheers for the passport.

Writing a conclusion to a rant is always hard to do. I only have to thank all the people who went out of their way to make my stay as wonderful as it was. National pride is not something to be embarrassed about, maybe the attitude that made England the great power it has been in the past is the same that the Finnish have now. I envy them.
MB ‘06

Bar Skills- The Insiders guide to getting the best out of bars

In the world of massive choice, and massive prices drinking is becoming an increasingly fraught experience, hopefully with our help you can negotiate the Wild West end.

Rule 1: You only have a certain number of drinks in your life, so drink nice ones.
A successful night of drinking starts way before you go anywhere. Before leaving the house make sure you have:
Washed and dressed in clothes that will not preclude entry to venue take
More money than you think you need
Companionship of sufficient quality

Once you have satisfied these key tenets it is advisable to pick up the phone and book, even if it is just for drinking space. This will guarantee quick entry and usually preferential service.

Rule 2: If people can’t be bothered to be nice to you they won’t bother to make you a good drink.
DON’T GO THERE.

Choosing a venue is very much a matter of expectation and requirements. There are certain prerequisites that need to be fulfilled though to enable you to get a good drink.

- Good staff – Keep them sweet
- Real ice cubes – Can’t make a drink without’em
- Freshly squeezed lemon and lime juice
- A beer that isn’t advertised on telly.
- A complete absence of RTD’s (Alcho-pops)

Apart from that, Oh and shit music, anything goes…

Rule 3: Water is the key to prolonging the enjoyment of drinking, have lots.

Once in the bar. A lot of what happens next is dependent on the relationship you build with staff. Getting great service is a skill you need to learn to master.

TIPS – To. Insure. Prompt. Service
.
Bar staff survive on their tips so learn to manipulate. Tipping lavishly in advance will guarantee prefential excellent service even on the busiest nights. Don’t tip rubbish though, the bartender must respect you, not see you as a mug, be prepared to pay 20% and show interest in what you drink. Good bartenders will help you explore the back bar, get you free shots to reward custom, make special cocktails etc for a few minutes of a friendly ear.

Treat yourself, and the night becomes special, your noise is the key to very powerful memory recognition and that fine cognac can become an experience relived for many years.
Get drunk, but always behave with a sense of dignity, slur, wobble, even shed a tear but don’t shout, leer or piss yourself.

Rule 4: The 1 drink too many will taste bad from the first sip. What ever you do don’t finish it.
Most of the rest of the relationship will be plain sailing as long as you follow certain rules of etiquette.

NEVER:
- Ask for less ice
- Ash on the floor
- Ask for tap water, this demonstrates that you are a “thin fish” and not worth bothering with.
(The only exceptions are at the point of choking and taking painkillers)
- Shout, wave, click fingers or overly gesture for attention
- Be overly ostentations
- Ask for shit drinks e.g. Blue lagoon.

Rule 5: to abuse a drunkard is ridiculously easy, don’t be that drunkard!

With a healthy relationship developed, here are a few tips for the buyer beware
- Weights and measures- get what you pay for; from a 10p in a measure to doctored speed pours the potential for cheating is huge, when in doubt watch.
- Service charge- is it advertised, optional, scandalous, deserved etc. Pay only what you want to. In most cases staff would prefer a cash tip.
- Drink the second cheapest wine on the list. It will most likely be the best value
- Don’t ever accept a free dessert to amend poor experience; it only costs the house a pound.
- Don’t buy over priced soft drinks
- Does your champagne cocktail have champagne in it?
Accept only what you order, define your drinking. Know your prices and don’t fall for ridiculous mark ups.

Rule 6: Hangovers are a rite of passage, to be endured only in the company of paracetamol, Bacon butties, flat coke and Gin.

Bottoms Up!

MB05

How to win at Cocktail competitions

A great Marketing tool for spirit companies? Probably not.

Taking Mixology(?!) and Bartending to new heights? The creative element is great but too few recipes ever survive apart from adverts in back issues of magazines.

A great way for bartenders to win Money/ holidays/ Fame? Definitely, but first you have to win:

Here's how.

Study the Rules.
Some competitions will have strict rules and requirements on ingredients and style of drink, others will be more open. Either way just like in all exams most fuck-ups come from not reading the question. Take advantage of the rules as they will point to the type of recipe that the judges most want to win.

The Drink.
Let spirit shine, sponsors want characteristic cocktails that demonstrate the qualities of their brand. When in doubt the fewer the ingredients the better, to use three ingredients is often harder than using seven but really demonstrates delicacy and skill in creation. The use of classic ingredients impresses judges, vermouths, bitters, and the ‘monastery liqueurs’ like Benedictine add complexity and if used correctly shows a true understanding of flavours.

Glassware.
After working out a recipe choose the correct style of glassware, not all drinks are better in a martini glass. Make it again and again, check the balance, make variations, don’t just cling to your first idea, polish it until it has all the characteristics you want. If the drink ‘sings’ to you you’re on to a winner.

The Name.
Always the hardest bit, the name should evoke thoughts of romance and style, sound appealing and be able to ordered in a bar. When in doubt choose a name that explains the drink, is it a fizz or a Collins, old-fashioned style or a martini? A good example is the hedgerow sling (Dick Bradsell) It is a gin based long soda topped cocktail with English fruit influences but also sounds delicious. ‘ It does exactly what it says on the tin’.

Preparation and Research.
Knowledge is key to your presentation, before you compete you should learn about the products that you are using, their history, tasting notes, abvs etc. The ability to explain your drink and ingredients to this level shows commitment and much thought.

Equipment.
Don’t assume the host venue has anything that you need. Take all your ingredients and tools with you, your hosts may use a different brand of liqueurs, not stock blueberries, or freshly squeezed lemon juice.

Arrive early.
This allows you to familiarise yourself with the bar, so when you go to compete you won’t look lost, but instead professional. If you are using any fresh ingredients make a practice version to check the level of sweetness/flavour of your variable ingredients.

Point of Difference.
Judges are always looking for originality and imagination as well as a great recipe. Think about bring your own glassware, you can buy a pair of beautiful crystal glasses which will make your drink look great and different from everyone else's, innovative tools and techniques also make a good impression. The scope is massive, and it is the little things like that will decide between two great drinks.

Presentation.
This depends very much on personal style but there are some basics that will help you out regardless.

1. Take a tray. Put all your ingredients on it so you can approach the bar quickly secure in the knowledge that you have everything you need.

2. Present your ingredients with a short explanation of why you have chosen that particular product.

3. Take your time, wipe the bar, put out napkins, all the things that are obvious in normal service are often forgotten in the heat of battle and are still necessary. They also you to relax by turning the competition back into just making a drink for someone.

4. Use measures, nervousness will raise your pulse and body rhythm which are the basis free pouring, this means your measures will be suspect. Buy some measuring spoons and use them, the judges will only see care and attention to detail.

5. Relax, rushing will only cause you to make mistakes. During your practice session work out the correct strategy of the drink manufacture, and stick to them, remember that mistakes here will affect the result massively, dropped shakers and flying ice will handicap you just as much as dubious name or a bad drink.

6. Go back to basics. Judges will look for correct techniques so check up before hand to check that you are doing each stage correctly. Try not to touch ingredients so use tongs if possible. Wash Your Hands!!. People tend to over elaborate garnishes for no reason, Don’t. Clean up after you and leave the station perfect showing professionalism in all areas.

Have fun! Remember if you don’t win it was probably fixed and there is always next time

Good Luck MB03